1:5 Iyyaka naAAbudu wa-iyyaka nastaAAeen
We worship and obey none except You; and from You alone do we ask for help in all our affairs.
When I realised that I can outsource it, it took a load off me. I realised this when I read in the Quran that Allah wants us to make Him the Disposer of all our affairs. Wow, really? This feeling of calm came over me.
I couldn’t let that sink in over the numerous times that I read this, but it finally hit me on one of the occasions. When I endured the hard work and long days, yet proceeded to worry about outcome. It was then, in one of my morning readings of the Quran, that I got it.
After reading the Arabic version out loud so that I can hear and feel every sound wave from it, which I believe to this day has healing powers. I would then read the translation. And there it was, I can outsource it. It finally hit me.
Outsource it to Him
I need to make Allah and Allah alone the Disposer of all my affairs. I mean, for goodness sake, He is telling me to do that. So why do I still stress out in life?
My job, I understood very well, was to do the work, be the person Allah wants me to be, and leave all outcomes to Him. It clicked. And it felt like, this is when life began for me.
But can I let go, was my toughest battle. How do I trust that if I do nothing after doing my best, that He will remember to see it through? Isn’t that a funny one? I am actually wondering if Allah will remember my problems and help me with the outcomes that I need.
What’s funnier is, I often caught myself slipping and pushing or overthinking. things like “how on earth is this one actually going to work out for me?”. Then I would get up, make a call, or go do something, that would only exacerbate the issue further. What is wrong with me?
Why can’t I just let go and let God?
He has directly told me, in HIS own words, to make Him the disposer of my affairs. But yet, I think of my own timing, and if things don’t happen in this window then “oh man, I am in trouble”. Why am I having so much trouble, why can’t I just outsource it to Him easily?
It really came to an ultimatum. My ultimatum to myself was, if I really wanted the change in my life, then this too must change. I must accept who I can outsource it to, and if it really is God (the only choice I wanted), then I have to blindly trust.
It is at that point that we cross over. We finally accept that we cannot do much, and definitely cannot do better than Allah. So if we want the change, we HAVE to trust that Allah has got this. And you know what, every single time, He does. He proves my worrying wrong each time.
How is it that we are such control freaks, when this life is one big ride. We are the passengers, and we have The Best One driving. And if we want to go forward and up, we must let Him drive. Imagine taking over the wheel of a plane, when you have a pilot – especially when you aren’t a trained expert in flying!
I assure you, you are not a trained expert in driving your life. You are new on the job and you make things up as you go. With only your handful of little experiences in the past to inform you of how you should think and what you should do. Would you trust anyone like that with your ENTIRE life? I wouldn’t.
As opposed to having God drive your life. He, who knows EVERYTHING. There is not a thing not known to Him. So smile. Appreciate. Be grateful. Love. And be with Him. Let Him control the outcome of all aspects of your life – you just do your best, acquire sound knowledge, learn Him and submit to Him alone.