Raising children in our modern world
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How do I raise my child for the future? One of the people I love to listen to is Majid Alamri and you can follow him on Instagram and I just love some of the gems that he drops every day. On a recent one that I heard he spoke about how children and their confidence can be built if you just ask them for their opinion.
If a parent just asks, “what do you think?”.
And lets them make the decision, it makes the child feel respected and important. Their body posture changes. Their confidence gets boosted, he says. And he does this with his kids and it’s enlightened him. I love when he talks about it.
He says let them decide and give them the confidence boost. Take them seriously. Build the confidence in our children, letting them know that in the family, their decision matters, and will be taken seriously. It helps to build a leader who will create their own path and he really encourages people to try it with with their children.
Raising children for the future, is a very important topic because we’re living in a world today where children’s minds are being hijacked with all the exposure that they’re getting to things that are concerning, including their schools and the friends at school. And one day, he says, we will not be able to make decisions on their behalf so we must equip them on how to make their own best decisions.
I loved it when he said, “let’s make a movement instead of saying let’s make a better world for our children. Rather, let’s make better children for our world”.
The “woke” trap, children must think critically
All too often I hear of parents concerns amongst my friends, that they don’t want their kids to fall into the woke trap that we see today. Where there’s a stronghold and trying to confuse them questioning their gender and all sorts of perversions. They often quote Jordan Peterson when it comes to the subject of wokeness, who agrees that we need to protect children from that.
But parents are beginning to feel that we can’t because it’s everywhere. So we must teach our kids how to think critically. And I for one think, that’s the only way forward.
Critical thinking, more critical than ever when raising children
Yes, I agree. But I see it also as a consequence of a total reversing of the traditional views where older people are supposed to know better than children. Today, I mean, it’s good to teach children how to be critical thinkers that put them in decision making seats. But it could also, in my opinion, be something that is going over the line.
Because by definition children do not have all the information and maturity to make certain decisions. So it’s good to understand how they formulate their opinions, and then help them to understand what parts of the puzzle they’re missing. I mean, letting kids be in charge always could also be infantilization of society.
There’s definitely a line and I think he definitely does draw that distinction. Obviously it’s not going to be something that’s a decision of a great nature. It’s more like, where do you want to go, for your free time today, or where should I take you?
You decide. That was the example that he gave.
They were at an amusement park and he said to his son, you decide what ride we’re gonna go on next. He said, “I saw the whole body posture of my son change and he owned that decision. And he led the family to that next ride that he saw. It was on that level, a starting point.
Raising your children with faith based values
Do you agree today more than ever, this type of thing is more important? As well as giving our children faith based values, which helps them to compare life decisions to something that is taught to us by God. Just by teaching them for example, what is wrong and right by God’s standards and not by man’s standards, maybe will help keep kids on track.
And what do we do to fight against even some of the teachers that are trying to indoctrinate this woke agenda on our children today in school? Children have always acted upon examples of the elders. So it is up to the elders to be role models knowing that children will just imitate. So teachers crossing the line is very concerning.
What do you do when you have a teacher who’s being the wrong example and the child is being exposed to that daily. How does a parent try to do whatever they can to protect their child from being hijacked. This is exactly the problem. You feel like when you send your children outside of the house, when they come back, you have to undo a lot of the damage that’s been done that is out of your control.
Younger kids genuinely don’t know the answer on what is wrong and right. I mean, they’re learning, they’re developing. That’s why, when they turn to a higher belief set, it helps. We should be a little bit more vigilant about promoting faith based principles in the house. Let them understand that it comes from a sound ideology.
In our case, being raised in a Muslim household, I was taught a certain ideology and it helped me tremendously to know my Muslim values. It helped me to stay within the lines. I inherently knew what was wrong and right on some levels. It helped me to avoid pitfalls like alcohol, or dating, or peer pressure, doing drugs or doing something or keeping the wrong friends. Because of the way my parents raised me, I had this alert system inside me.
Hence I could know when something or someone wasn’t good for me. I think that’s even more critical today than ever. We need to condition our kids at home to learn their faith based values and understand the importance of God and what God wants from us. Than to just outsource that to teachers, who, in many cases can be enemy number one if they’re teaching our children the wrong things
It’s about the role of the parents versus the role of school. Traditionally, until recently, education which comes from a Latin word, which is to guide was really the family’s role. The school had the role to teach content, but the recipient and the moral values were dealt with within the society and within the family. Now, it seems certain forces within governments are taking over this role. Many people solved this by homeschooling their children, which is becoming more and more illegal.
I think at the end of the day, we live in a certain society. And there’s exactly this conditioning that goes both ways. When people have values and the values promoted by the people in charge of the society are counter to this ideology, there is a battle of conditioning children. Until they can think for themselves, and we Muslims see that at around seven years old, and others say puberty. They are submitted to conditioning. Families can set an example, and they must.
A child is a developing being that is delivered into this world as a person. Each child is different. When people have several children, they can be very different from each other. You have children who have a tendency to be more rebellious than others, some more obedient. The same education in these children will lead to different results. Some children want to have the experience. They want to break rules, before they face the consequences.
Terrible trial for parents who want to avoid bad influence on their children
It’s a terrible trial for parents who want to avoid this. They want to protect them from going into bad experiences, but some kids need to go through bad experiences. And hopefully parents will give them a safe place to come back. If the child has to go into bad experiences, you will see that this feeling of a safe place where they can come back, helps them to come back to values.
I believe today it has to go to the point of equipping the children.
And give them a safe place. Give them as much of the best of your wisdom as you possibly can help them to develop to be good thinkers. I think if I look back and reflect on my childhood, maybe one of the things that could have been done a little bit better is instead of being told, do this, it’s best for you.
Maybe it could have been better for me to understand why something to do or not to do was better for me. I think a little bit more of a conversation around that. At least for me. I feel the way my mind worked, that would have really helped me as a child.
I think what really did help me that was done well was that I had characters in my mind that were made as role models for me. So in my case, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was really defined to me as the example of goodness and piety. A good human being. So when I was told to follow certain things that he did, because it would be beneficial, it gave me a personal relationship with him. I would often ask, what would the Prophet do in cases like that? It stayed with me.
Kids are driven by admiration. They need role models. And what has been happening over the last few years is that all great role models have been put down and replaced by so called heroes that are at the end of the day, fake heroes. The celebrity system is promoting as them as exemplary people. When you scratch the surface, you see they’re essentially marketing of terrible lives, and choices that usually end up very badly.
Kids are being forced to look up to the wrong type of a role model. With the wrong characteristics. That’s dangerous. Again, they are just developing human beings, and they want to follow an example. An example that is admired because everyone is looking for something good at the end of the day. This is why the character of the Prophet, the Sahaba is important to share and to propose as a modern example.
I am so genuinely grateful that I was raised with an Islamic value system. I believe that Islam is attacked so much because it’s a path to overcome the trappings of the system, and they don’t want that. So it’s a threat to any narrative that is trying to abuse us and our children and maybe that’s why there’s such a mainstream negative spin in the media. It’s done by design.
Because Islam can be a threat to what they’re trying to teach us. If someone starts taking on Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) as their role model, they will start to reflect on what God wants us to do and not do. That would be problematic for those that have their own agenda.
Taking the Prophet as a role model would mean one is absolutely free from any influence that surrounds us. And astonishingly enough when you study his life and his character, you find a solution to every situation you’ll face in life. And that happens to be the solution that fits.
A solution for all times, is really the litmus test for true wisdom, right?
Wisdom is age old. It doesn’t have to change. Because true wisdom applies throughout time. That is what human beings need today, is proper, authentic wisdom. Yes.
The ultimate guide for vigilant parents
- Train your kids to be critical thinkers. Give them decision making capabilities under your care.
- Children’s minds are being hijacked by the images and content of video games, social media, television, movies, and even books.
- Manage their content exposure wisely. Keep them away from screens, and when necessary watch and read with them in order to monitor their exposure.
- Be informed about what their teachers are saying to them. Don’t outsource your parenting to teachers and schools.
- Monitor their friends and what they are learning from them.
- Encourage role models from faith based characters of goodness. Make them the heroes in your kid’s life.
- Teach them to speak out when they see something wrong. Even if it is to you, let them come to you to talk about what they feel is wrong.
Vigilant parents are respected parents
We are so fortunate to have all of this very well documented in the Sunnah. Because today, all of this wisdom has been replaced by ideologies that go towards more and more pleasure driven with short time frames. You get your pleasure, but there will be consequences in a year or two years or 10 years.
Whereas the principles of the life of the prophet could be reassessed according to all times, and they work every time. God established the universal moral behavior of a proper human being. Our job is to concentrate on those principles and apply them.
Most people now think in a way that is tainted by their culture. Rather than understand the formula of true wisdom. Once you learn that, you have a power unlike any other. And, that’s what’s really interesting about the lessons that we learned from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). We got that power formula, which keeps us free
Scary times for children
We look at those scenarios and those examples and those wisdoms and somehow we know that once they’re applied relevant to our times and to our lives, we start building life decisions informed by that system. And those that aren’t aware of how dangerous and scary life has become for children.
Especially the hijacking that’s going on of their minds, character, overall development.
Just look at pretty much all the big brands out there that are despicably low in their moral compass. I was disgusted actually, when I was surfing, some videos to research child development. To hear what the child experts have to say about development and the challenges of today. I came across such an imbalance.
Luxury brands are using children in their latest ad campaigns in disturbing imagery. People have to push back, and scream until they are heard. Brands crossing the line must be boycotted and stopped.
In the one case, why kids have been promoting handbags is a mystery altogether, and their inappropriate messaging around kids is deeply sick. I was listening to a commentary about this and they rightfully said we have an entire society that is comprised.
In the case of the inappropriate ads, why didn’t anyone call Instagram out for allowing those ads. While Instagram is so quick to shut so many other people down for far less damaging content, they let this one pass? Such a huge one!
I’m incensed by this. I am so livid. And this is what’s happening in our world.
They’re bringing down the taboos. Where is the moral outrage?
Well, I’m not surprised. It’s clear their effort is going toward bringing down old taboos, one after the other. It’s not that you attack a taboo front hand. You make people insensitive to these things. For many years child pornography and pedophilia has been attacked in the media, as a bad thing. But it was presented to people again and again and again until …it’s like these strategies against allergies where you cannot stand peanut butter, that they will expose you to it until you don’t care anymore.
And I feel that after people have strong reactions, many people will say, oh but it’s so prevalent. So what’s the big deal. And then it’s one step further to making it normal.
- So are there any parents out there who are still letting their kids on social media?
- Video games where they know theSe monster producers have their pick?
They have a captive audience in your kids, and they want your kids to play video games for a dark reason. Are you not aware?
TV and movies now show the most disturbing imagery. Often snuck in, and the parent doesn’t even know. Get your kids off of all of these things people! It’s going to destroy your kids!. It’s time to take back your children and raise them so that you don’t outsource this to video games and television and social media and school teachers.
Oh my god, I never thought I’d have to say that and it’s really sad.
- Where’s the moral outrage?
- Why are we tolerating celebrities that support or promote these luxury brands?
- Can everyone please stop having anything to do with the Kardashians, for example, who are dripping in this horrible brand names?
And all these other despicable brands that stand for nothing good. Just refuse to even hear their name again. They’re such big proponents of so much that’s wrong. Kim Kardashian for one, is one of their biggest mouthpieces for, as you know.
We live in a time of great fitna. What is hidden needs to be manifested. Trust that everything is under the guidance of Allah. You must never forget that. It is just showing you where things are, so you know what to pray for. It also comes back to the parents, who must take responsibility.
It has to be done right. Because if you just forbid your children to have access to social media you will lose them in a different way. They will feel as outcasts, socially awkward and you cannot keep them in a house totally isolated. So you need to make relationships and communities of like minded people who see the danger. Create spaces where children can express themselves and be united by other values, right.
Exposure to this content, we were told decades ago, content that is inappropriate, like lgbtq talk, and the woke stuff, we were told it is all leading to the sexualization of children. To show kids that it’s ok and to embrace it. We were told this by our elders over the years, and many laughed and roll their eyes. they said there will be a disintegration of society. And look at what’s happening right before us, it’s exactly that. It’s despicable.
We Must come back to setting an example and speaking the truth as much as we can as the Prophet advised us. He said, if you cannot stop something with your hand, speak against it, and if you cannot then be clear that it’s wrong in your heart. The thing is the consequences of all of this will be shown many years when it will be too late for many victims.
One can feel so helpless. When I saw this luxury brand misuse kids, the only thing I could do was I took to my email and I wrote the CEO. And the media like Business of Fashion and other titles are very guilty of wrongdoing too. None of them have condemned this evil.
No seems to ever highlight that, how complicit they are. So I directly copied Imran Ahmed, who is the CEO and the founder of Business of fashion, because I don’t know what else to do.
Final thoughts about 3 DIY points for raising children
I wrote the following message and I’m awaiting a reply but I do understand that there’s been a lot of outrage and I encourage everybody to write to these people. You must write and express your disgust.
I told them:
“You must take full responsibility for Balenciaga proactively stooping to one low place from another. It’s common knowledge that yet again, you take the lead with your pedo perverted minds. I and billions of people around the world find it despicable, that you are using children in your ads, let alone to make them subject to your sick pedo persuasion making them hold teddy bears wearing bondage gear and showcasing papers that are ruling out child porn.”
You people are sick, and millions will continue to stand up against you. The entire company and the work of Business of Fashion is also complicit and will remain so until they publicly reprimand and denounce this in every way on their platforms. We condemn these perverse offenses against kids and anyone who has given this sick brand any exposure or support, and now remain silent on their attempts to promote child abuse.
I do want to note that the statement they posted after facing a lot of backlash, said, Oh, it wasn’t us. It was the agency. And I know for a fact and many people know, for a fact that you don’t even have to work in the fashion industry to know this: These brands don’t let anything through without checking it with a fine tooth tooth comb themselves, so there is no way they didn’t know. Their pathetic response is not good enough.
- And we must stand against them.
- And we must stand against any brand that thrives this.
- And we must actually just stop giving them any kind of attention or business.
Stop buying it people. I think that’s the way to go.