Ever see some of the best work of interior design experts and think the problem is with you? “Why do I think it’s not beautiful?” You might say to yourself. You just can’t see anything you like about it. Is it you, are you the problem?
Looking at how everyone else admires in awe, are they being real? All you can think of is how you did your room up when you were in kindergarten convinced it was a work of art. Except, no one else thought so. Makes you kind of nervous.
There is good news in the “Not Beautiful”
The good news is, yes, it may be that it’s just you. And that should liberate you from the shackles of trends and influence. You have worked hard to develop yourself. Your character is your brand. Protect it, and build on it.
So, here we are. In a world where everything deemed artful, must be accepted as that. Fair enough. But do you have to conform? No. Plain and simple. It doesn’t have to be art to you.
This introduces the idea of standards. It is you who is the thinking being. Not the object or thought that has been thrust upon you. If their thoughts about the object do not match your standards, then the answer is very clear.
How Barbie factors in
For example, somehow we are all supposed to accept that Barbie is an ultimate woman, and of course you have to be ok with the viral “he’s just Ken” line.
There’s is nothing more offensive. Well, maybe being forced to accept all shades of pink might be a bit more offensive. But this does not conjure respect in people. It forces them to diminish the idea of respect in the name of a false narrative in the name of “empowerment”.
He’s just Ken
The line “he’s just Ken”, disrespects men and tells you to do the same. In fact the whole movement is about telling you what to think. Another example, it tells you that pink is powerful and you should think so too.
While there are many pleasing shades of pink, there are many that are not. And that’s ok. And if none of those shades are your thing, it’s perfectly ok too.
Half the battle is knowing what you don’t like. Especially knowing you don’t like how it’s presented to you, allows you to recognise when it’s coming.
Be yourself. But how?
If this confuses you or makes you nervous. If you really want to be your own person, but are riddled with insecurities. That is your signal to work on yourself first, before you go out there to be yourself.
How? Well, we are told in the Quran that we were created so that we could worship Allah. So if God created you only so you could worship Him, then you need to go to Him. There’s a huge clue in that for you. That’s where you begin the work on yourself.
Spend a lot of alone time talking to God. You will be amazed at the things you will start saying. The things you ask and how you word it. All of this will give you great insight in who you really are. Which will increase your thirst to know more about Him and how to really worship Him.
Because half the answers are in the way you ask. It’s a type of a reply from God in itself. Be encouraged. You are embarking on a special journey to better yourself..
When you continue your talks with God, you realise how essential it is to ask correctly. That’s when you start seeking a format. It’s much easier to communicate how you feel once you’ve learned How to do it. It’s all a part of worshipping Him. Do you see how this all comes back to you?
That format, known as a prayer, is where your self development journey is catapulted to a new level. your eyes begin to open, your heart begins to see, the inspiration is met with a knowingness. Your creativity is now bespoke.
It’s unlike anything you’ve known before. You like it. You came to know Him, but your increased empowerment becomes the byproduct. And that’s how it works. That’s how you start to work on yourself and gain unimaginable power..
Trust the results
You start to trust yourself. You know that if you don’t like something, it’s ok. It’s the level of excellence in yourself that you have reached, to be able to trust what you know to inform your standard. And that’s how you make your selections now.
You may begin at a stage in your life where you are easily impressionable. In this stage, you suffer from buyer’s remorse a lot. Because a magazine, an influencer, or even a friend has convinced you that something will look good in your home.
You bought it. Only because the idea that you aren’t “in”, “cool”, or “complete” without it makes you uneasy. And boom, now you hate it. Each time people see it in your home, you are embarrassed, worse yet, you can’t believe you spent so much money on it.
You eventually bypass this stage, as you do the work on yourself. Because you’ve had enough. Now, as you reflect and build on who you really are, you start to own your decisions.
Now go, do it.
This is when you muster up the confidence to experiment with your own ideas of what looks good and what doesn’t. This means there are hits and misses. But they are all yours.
And there is something rewarding in that. If everyone is doing the pink thing because a movie based on a Barbie doll has come out, but you feel ok to give that colour a miss, if you’re just not feeling it. Maybe even give the entire movie a miss.
You no longer are the follower they want you to be. You feel relief that you can say no, or just sit out and be a spectator whenever you wish. You look for inspiration now.
And that inspiration is a feeling in your heart, stomach, and mind all at the same time. It tells you in unison how to feel about something. When it doesn’t happen every time you see something that they want you to like, your secret weapon is working.
When the system works.
When that system starts working, you know it every time. You are making your own decisions based on your standards of excellence and beauty. It’s a commitment to yourself that won’t fail you.
“So let them all don their pink”, you say. “I’ll wait to use pink where I want and when I feel like it”. It might be in 2 years, when all the fad has blown over, so be it. Those thoughts empower you.
When you realise that life is not about fads and dishing out money to other people’s ideas, your own character begins to wake up. You understand the importance of your own standards.
And more than that, you understand the importance of not compromising on your standards for the thrill of wanting to be accepted. Once you own this, you have liberated yourself from anything that was threatened by your independent thoughts.